JMS Blog

What is our standard of Utopia? Everyone getting along? No disagreements? No fighting? No tragedies? No drama? No pains? No suffering? No deaths?

Then isn't that just a replay of the Stepford town? For those of you who don't know what the "Stepford" means. It was a movie about the perfect town where everyone was cheery, happy, and agreeable at all times. It was actually creepy. It is unfortunate that we have to label something positive and good as creepy but either way, that's how the director depicted this idea in the movie. And not that I'm a dark person because I am not, but it would really be creepy if no one had any problems or disagreements.

Disagreements is a way to understand each other and to express our individuality and ideas. In the process, there may be fighting or conflicts but as long as we have the heart to resolve things and out of our love for God and peace, we make amends by fixing our rough edges. Pastor Joshua (Jung Myung Seok) said it best. He said that smooth sand is formed by rocks rubbing against each other. Ever since, I found myself not just dismissing someone because of a simple disagreement or differences in opinions. Instead, I learned to understand and accept that each person is unique and indeed valuable. And I had to learn to confront these differences with the attitude of making peace, not to make them think what I think.

And pain? What about that saying, "No pain, no gain?" After a hard workout, I feel pain and I actually like it. It tells me that I had worked hard and seeing the muscles that follow soon afterward gives me a sense of gratification. Without pain, how can we really appreciate the glories and its rewards? God gave us nerves to feel pain so that we can understand what areas of our bodies need attention. Without pain, we can be stabbed to death and we wouldn't even know it.

So in Providence, too, there are disagreements, pains, conflicts, and these things can make a person suffer depending on how capable we are in handling them. This tells me that Providence is truly not a "Stepford" town. Providence is a place where there are all types of people, artists and scientists, rigid and fluid, dominant and submissive, extroverts and introverts. I am constantly challenged because I encounter all types of people with their ideas, strengths and their flaws. This helps me to,with no offense intended, check to see if I have certain flaws like them, and hope that I can have similar strengths.

Honestly, I do understand why people would leave Providence simply because of misunderstandings or disagreements with others in Providence. I really do. I would do the same back then just as anyone would transfer to new schools, workplaces, or neighborhoods if they have a falling out with someone. But I choose to see the "not-so-nice" people in Providence as people who need to work out their salvation as I also must. And by whose standards are they not nice? Who's to say that maybe we are the ones at fault? It all depends on our standards of Utopia.

And so many times, when people speak ill of others to me, I don't see them as any different. So isn't it better to just better ourselves instead of blaming others for the rest of our lives? Here's a rule of thumb. If you constantly find yourself encountering the same type of people, most likely the problem is you.

Please don't take this as an attack on you. This is only an attempt to make aware that we should better ourselves instead of constantly trying to change everyone around us.

Why lie? You will be found out anyway.
I'm just too simple of a person to keep tabs of all the lies I would make. Why waste brain space? And imagine the fear of getting caught. You'll be living in anxiety.

Pastor Joshua( Jung Myung Seok) said, "Momentary shame brings eternal glory, momentary glorly brings eternal shame." Just be bold to come clean with all your lies, face that momentary shame, but imagine the feeling of relief for the rest of your life.

I know some of the girls who accused Pastor Joshua of rape. And I know for a FACT that they lied. I will not reveal here how I know but I know. Revealing that here would be like putting them to shame without giving them a chance to come clean. I believe that I'm merciful enough to give them that. But what can they say now? Already the ball went rolling into an enormous avalanche that won't stop. They've already done so much damage that it would take the boldness of who-knows-what to tell the truth. What can they do? They have to keep lying and make it believable in order to save face. They are trapped in their own lies.

You know what? I feel sorry for them. I pity them. Even if we don't do the judging, they are judging themselves. They are in hell because they have to live with the knowledge. Living with that voice in your head, anger in your heart, and remorse that will follow later, it will be so overwhelming that it will be hell. Why lie? I really wish from the bottom of my heart, for their well-being and peace of mind, that they will confess the truth. It's not worth it to put the blame on someone who is innocent. It's really not fair.